Thursday, August 15, 2013

WhatTF is the deal with Gookie?

Ok.  Before I go all ADD and forget to address it, here it is: I am a Gookie Fucker.  What does that mean to me?  It means that I think being Korean is fuckin' hilarious.  It means that I think if you can't laugh about it, it doesn't matter for shit.  It means that, yes, I'm Korean, but only on the outside (in HS I wanted to be Black, seriously.  I used to joke that I was like a rotten banana; I don't think the three black kids at school were too impressed with me.).  I mean, Gook.  Say it out loud (you MAY want to look around you for listeners first, this could be shocking).  It's a damn funny word.  I grew up thinking it was like N*gger for Black people, like SUPER fucking bad.  I heard a rumor that saying "Korean" in Korean sound like "Gook"...  I don't know if that's true (if any of you jack holes post a comment with, I gonna kick your asses), but it sounds educationalish to me.  All I mean is that if you call me a Gook - I'm probably going to do a double take then laugh my ass off - unless you're being a serious dick, then I respectfully reserve the right to kick your ass.

So I think that finding the hilarious and the ridiculous in life is definitely more fun and entertaining a way to live my life than to go around all grumpousy and spewing hate.  I work at a Bank and I am amazed EVERY DAY how many people put SO much effort into being in a shitty mood.  It doesn't take me ANY energy to be happy, but man, it's so tiring to want to kill bitches all day long!  As you probably remember, this Angry Bitch has hormones HELPING her to want to kill bitches all day - can you imagine having to do all that hate mongering on your own?!!!  Crazy talk!

Side note: would it fucking KILL people to say please and thank you?!  WTF happened to common courtesy?  And get off your fucking phone when you're doing business!  I swear sometimes when someone puts up their index finger to tell me to hold on...Imma rip that shit off your hand, fucktard.

But back to being a Gooky Fucker.  This Gooky Fucker is also a mom.  My eldest, B, really likes Sesame Street, especially Elmo - Kevin Clash and all (eww).  My favorite character when I was a kid was Cookie Monster - he always had cookies!  But now with all this modern "got to eat healthy and shit" propaganda out there, poor Cookie Monster has vegetables all the time!  I personally feel that he is of the Cookie religion and it is tantamount to a hate crime that he is being so negatively prejudiced against.  Although on the other hand, he always eats Prairie Girl's Letter Of The Day even though she politely asks him not to EVERY time and then I'm all pissed at him again.  It's really a tough relationship that they have.  I mean he's blue and shit, she's kind of a pussy, and they've both got hands up their assholes so that's got to kind of suck. 

C is for Cookie is one of my old school favorite songs.  Good ol' Cookie Monster just resounds with me: the good, the bad, the ugly.  So in honor of him, my Korean heritage (that I know almost nothing about, more on that later), and being a Mom, G is for Gookie was born.  Hate crimes can't exist where there's only laughter and love.  And I gots a shit load of that right here.

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